Meeting Him

What was it like to meet Baba? Here is one person's story:

A few people were seated on the floor. The old man in the orange robes motioned for us to sit. As he waved his arm through the air I had the distinct impression that the space surrounding him was not empty. His fingers seemed to be moving through a field of rarefied water. The emptiness around him felt full. I sat down. He was speaking but I didn't hear a word he was saying. I was captivated by his body language, his animated hands and his smile. I stared at him, mesmerized. At some point he looked over and his eyes made contact with mine. The room disappeared. A boundless bright light enveloped me. My eyes were open but there was no one there. He looked away and slowly the universe rematerialized.

When I think back to this moment my heart opens and waves of gratitude flow to the ends of creation. That wonderful memory is imprinted at the deepest level of my being. When I met him I was besieged inwardly by somber thoughts. His divine presence obliterated the darkness and encircled me with light. Such was his being. There are times in my life when the underside of existence clouds over me and the shadows reappear. At such moments I invoke Baba's image and instantly the bleakness transforms into light. Meeting Baba was a divine gift. Since the day I was first graced by his presence, I have not feared the dark.

Most of us need a guide on the spiritual path, someone who knows the way and who can give us direction and encouragement, and who sometimes will remove obstacles to our progress that we are powerless to overcome.

Paramahamsa Hariharananda was a master teacher, an unsurpassed guru. He offered different facets of himself to different people, according to their need. He could be a grandfatherly mentor, a child needing tender care, a harsh critic, a loving friend, an irresistible force of nature. In the context of a loving relationship, he would provide whatever was needed.

Even Paramahamsa Prajnanananda needed a guru, and Baba fulfilled this role for him. The story of his own struggles both shows us more about Baba and helps us to understand and accept the challenges we face. Listen to Paramahamsa Prajnanananda describe in his own words getting to know Gurudev and entering into relationship with him.

I was looking for God, praying and trying to find God, from my childhood. I came to know about Baba when I was a fifteen-year-old boy, through the newspaper. It was after his first foreign trip. When he went to the West and came back, there was a newspaper article that told of his trip and what he did. I was excited because as a schoolboy it was a great thing for me to see a monk from Orissa achieving so much. And then a couple of times I read his writings in the newspaper.

From age eighteen towards twenty-two was a transition time in my life, and what I planned to do with my life. I was seriously looking for a spiritual guide who could help me. With that goal I was going from one monk to another, whoever visited my village.

I liked them all. I had, and still have, deep respect for each and every one of the monks I met, but I knew somehow that they were not the person I was looking for. I was still looking for the guide who could help me.

Baba and I first met in December, 1980. I don't remember the exact date, maybe the 20th or 21st, but I was a college student and it was during Christmas vacation. Baba was in Cuttack where I was a student. I saw in the newspaper he was staying at a doctor's residence. And I wanted to meet him. I didn't want to go to him for Kriya Yoga or anything. Just to find a guide.

So on a chilly December evening, I went to see him at the doctor's home. It was a long walk. It was dark, so I had to ask a few people, "Where is his house? Where is his house?" I was a little tired when I got there. When I first saw him, he was sitting on the bed in his room. There were fifteen or twenty people sitting in the room with him. Being in his presence, I felt completely different. It was very nice.

Often, we will bow and touch the feet of monks both to show respect and to receive their energy and blessings. But I went and I bowed to Baba at a distance, because many monks do not allow others to touch their feet. He looked at me and pressed his palms together in front of him, with his fingers pointed upwards, the way some people do when they are praying. Then I went and sat down in a corner in the back.

I had the curiosity of youth, and a little excitement to see this person about whom I had read some interesting things. But when I first saw him, I had some questions in my mind.

In my own mind, I had an image of what a monk should look like, how he should speak and act. I had the idea that monks would be very simple. But when I first saw Baba, he was very ‘tip top.’ He looked very polished, with orange polyester clothes, shampooed hair, and golden-trimmed glasses. I thought he would be simple, very plain living.

The second thing that made me uncomfortable that day was what he was saying. Somebody was talking with him about food for spiritual life. That person was advocating vegetarian food and Gurudev was challenging him. He said food is not really a big factor for Self-realization. He said things like, "If being a vegetarian makes one Self-realized, then surely all the sheep and goats would be Self-realized." It was funny, but I didn't understand at the time why he was saying this.

Then Baba said, "Do you like big-belly body or well-built body?" That man said, "Well-built body." Baba said, "Look at the cow, the elephant, they all have big bellies. So most vegetarians have big bellies." It was humorous! But I had it fixed in my mind that a Hindu monk or a monk from India always should advocate being a vegetarian. But here is Baba who is speaking very contrary to my views. He looks rich and he says it's okay to not to be vegetarian! Later I came to understand his way of teaching people was unique for each person.

One thing I liked was that people came for initiation and to meditate because of word of mouth, instead of newspaper ads or public lectures. So when Baba was there, many people came to see him, just like I did.

On the day that I met him, he gave an informal talk and then said, "I request those who are not initiated into Kriya Yoga to leave and only the initiated people will stay for meditation." Since I had not been initiated, I was about to leave and Baba said, "You sit down." I couldn't understand why he said this. Why was the only non-initiated person allowed to stay while he guided the initiated persons in meditation? It was a curiosity why he allowed me to stay. I couldn't understand.

Then the meditation was finished and people were going to bow to him, touching his feet and he was blessing them, touching their heads. So then I went up to him. He tried to catch my hair in his hands, an affectionate gesture, but my hair was so short he could not hold it. Then Baba very lovingly grasped my cheeks. That I really liked! He was so loving, so kind, and so available. Other monks, they were all from a distance. They don't allow one to be close to them.

I was going to leave, but Baba said, "You sit down."

"Are you a college student?" he asked.

I said, "Yes."

"What do you study?"

“Economics.”

"I am really happy to see you," he said. "Please study nicely and don't be like other young men, too much extroverted and caught in the world. Focus your mind on your goal."

I was just watching him. Then he said, "Come again."

Later I discovered that he already knew a lot about me. But when I was there I didn't know that. I was curious: why did he allow me to sit with him for meditation, when others were asked to leave?

I went to him again the very next day, also in the evening. He was happy to see me.

I came back with the thought, why did he tell me to stay during meditation, and why did he say to come again? So I wanted to know him a little bit more. I thought, "You can't know him if you don't go closer...okay, so let me go again."

When I went the second time, there were some people just like the previous day. Baba gave some spiritual talk and that day he was speaking a little more about Christ. I was happy because usually you expect the Indian monks will speak of Krishna and others, but not of Christ or Mohammed. Again he asked non-initiated people to leave before the guided meditation, and again he said, "You stay." So I stayed. Afterwards I went to bow to him, and again he blessed me and was very kind.

One friend of mine was there. I did not know he was a disciple. He was excited to see me there. After I left, he came with me because we were staying in the same hostel. We started speaking about Baba. I said to my friend, "You are his disciple, you should praise him like God."

It was nearly three months before I saw Baba again. During that period, before I saw him again, maybe in the next month, I was in a bookshop and saw the book Autobiography of a Yogi. I didn't know of the connection between Baba and Paramahamsa Yogananda, who wrote Autobiography of a Yogi. I was reading spiritual books a lot so I bought it. When I started reading, I found it was related to Kriya Yoga.

There's an interesting connection here. When I was 14 or 15 years old I was in Puri, in the state of Orissa, which of course is in India, with all my school friends on an excursion. We were walking from the seaside to Jagannath Temple. There was a narrow lane to Karar Ashram, but it was not marked as such. There was just a small sign on a board saying, "Kriya Yoga Meditation Center founded by Swami Shriyukteshwarji, 1903." When I saw it on that road I felt that I was very familiar with that place. I stopped for a moment and just stood looking. My friends said, "We are getting delayed, come, why are you standing here?" When I read Autobiography of a Yogi, and met Baba, all of these thoughts came back. I wanted to go to Karar Ashram.

A couple of months after I read Autobiography of a Yogi, I got to see Baba again. I met a friend of mine who was already initiated. "Do you know where Baba is?" I inquired.

"In Puri," he said.

"Are you going to see him?" I asked.

"No," he said. He was a student, and he had tight pockets, not enough money to go.

"How long will Baba stay there?" I asked.

"He'll stay more than a week because the Founders Day of Karar Ashram is in March. He'll stay until the end of that," my friend said.

"You can come, I'll pay your way," I said.

"Look," he said. "You can go, but you are not initiated. There will be meditation class and initiation, and what will you do?"

"Come with me," I said. "You can do your meditation, and I will sit down somewhere. There will be some place where I can sit alone. Maybe I will go to the seaside when your initiation and meditation are going on."

My friend gave in, told me to bring my mosquito net, and on the 18th of March, 1981, I went to see Baba for the third time, at Karar Ashram, with my friend. The ashram was really crowded, with a few hundred people on this small property.

People were sleeping here and there, all over the place. We both were sleeping under one mosquito net out on the veranda in Shriyukteshwarji's samadhi temple. This was a very special place to sleep.

When I went to Baba he recognized me. I could tell that he really liked me. He told me, "You sit down here beside me." He let me hang up his shirt. If he'd go out, he'd say, "Bring my cushion." So I'd carry the cushion and walk behind him. People thought I was his disciple, but I was not his disciple then. So he gave me a lot of opportunity to be closer to him, to serve him to some extent. There were other people taking care of him, too.

During this time, I felt more of his humanity, his caring, and his unusual way of loving. You see, usually love grows and is expressed when you know each other. But I didn't think that he knew me, but he was very kind and loving to me, and treated me like I was very close to him. While walking he was keeping his hand on my shoulder. Looking at him, I saw someone who was truly great, big, well-developed. And also looking at him, I saw someone who was so loving to me, so tender and sweet and kind.

I stayed at the ashram for over five days during this visit. I was going and serving people, not just Baba, and when there was no work to do, I sat in Shriyukteshwarji's samadhi temple and sang. Sometimes people would come and join me in singing. Still they thought I was a disciple.

One morning one of the yogacharyas came with a group of students to sit down in the back of the samadhi temple to talk about Kriya techniques. Baba was resting at that time, so I was sitting in the back of the temple and reading. He said, "Is there anybody here who is not initiated?" I said, "I am not initiated."

Everyone looked at me with great suspicion. I'm sure they were thinking, “Why is this young man who is not initiated staying here and being so close to Baba?” The yogacharya said, "Sorry, you must go because we will be discussing the technique." I thought, "His guru is allowing me to sit down in meditation, so why are the disciples not accepting it?" So I left the temple.

I was impartially observing everything Baba was doing. Slowly, my critical views disappeared. I saw that he was wearing simple clothes, I saw when he went to bathe he just used the hand pump to pour water on his body, no modern shower or anything. I saw just a simple Indian man. I also saw his bedroom, it was very, very simple. There was no sign of any richness.

He was very gentle and loving to me. He would affectionately touch my hands, face, shoulders, and give me chores to keep me close to him. Baba was very nice to others also. I saw him interacting with people, and the attention he gave his students was very good. He remembered their names and asked after their children. He was a very knowledgeable teacher, with good understanding of the scriptures.

I felt very happy during those five days, just being there. I felt very happy and content, but still I didn't accept him as the teacher and guide I was looking for, because I wanted to really know from within, not just from what I observed from without.

Paramahamsa Prajnanananda did eventually accept Baba as his guru. You can learn more about this and their relationship in My Time With the Master by Paramahamsa Prajnanananda.

Source: the Foreword and short biography in The Ocean of Divine Bliss: The Complete Works of Kriya Yoga Master Paramahamsa Hariharananda (pages xviii–xlii).